The Christmas Tree

On Saturday we drove up past Idaho City to cut a tree with a few other families in the ward. It was freezing. And that is not me just being my "I don't like to be to hot or to cold, I grew up in a temperate climate" self. The dad's  trekked out into the middle of nowhere and cut 8 trees (there were 4 families, but we were also cutting for Dad, RaLyn, Ducky's Grandma, and a family in the ward). Cori threw up the night before, Lilly threw up on our way to the mountains and then we froze when we got up there, but it was fun to visit with people and watch Havah in the snow, Lil just wanted to be held.

When they got the trees down I didn't even see them people picked them out, threw them in the back and we left.  When we got home I realized why men are not allowed to go out in the woods by themselves to cut down trees. They were some of the most homely things I've ever seen. We dropped off Mama Sue's trees (Ducky's mom) and took Dad and RaLyn their trees. I kept the saddest looking one because I couldn't stand the thought of sending this family in our ward who are already having a hard year this ugly tree. Especially since the one their getting isn't that great anyway. But I have to admit I was sad about it, and I don't think I did a very good job of hiding it from Cori. I think he offered 25 times to go to a tree lot and get a different one. Now I'm trying to decide if I did it because I wanted to be a martyr or if I was just being realistic. We are a lot better off than a lot of people this year, but still not a  lot of extra, paying for another tree really wouldn't have been a good idea.

So last night we brought in our sad looking tree and did our best to cut the weird branches and leave enough branches so you can't tell the whole back half is empty. Then we got out the lights, and it started to look better, then the ornaments I made our first Christmas just after we got married, then the ornaments that I got from Grandma King when she was giving away everything just before she died. They're her old glass bulb ornaments some from her and Grandpa King's first Christmas. They're all hand painted and hand glittered, they're beautiful and precious to my heart. We drank our customary bottle of sparkling cider while we decorated and talked about the tree and Christmas's past. And as we were putting on Grandma's ornaments Cori told me, "I like this tree, it's how I feel this year. It's a good little tree, it grew tall and did what it was supposed to do, it just couldn't grow in a mountain climate and look like what we consider to be a beautiful Christmas tree, and that's okay."

When it was all decorated we turned off all the house lights, sat on the couch and soaked it all in. And you know what? It's beautiful. It's not my any means a commercial beauty, but on it's little bows hang my most precious Christmas memories. 

When Havah came into our room this morning we told her there was a surprise down stairs, she ran down and we heard, "Oh! THE CHRISTMAS TREE! IT'S BEAUTIFUL!", and then we showed her the snow that fell last night and she was just tickled, "SNOW! IT'S MERRY CHRISTMAS!!"

Suddenly I see our sad patchy tree differently. Aren't most of us just like my tree? We work hard, we do our best to grow tall, and there are parts of us that are full and beautiful, areas where we've grown full and strong... and then there are those places that just haven't filled out, parts of us that aren't so beautiful. And that's okay, because Cori's right. It's hard to grow in a mountain climate, let alone do and look like a commercial Christmas tree. But even with our patchy sad parts, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ see our value, and if we let them, can take us and make us into something beautiful, something precious, something that will remind and teach us that no matter how ragged and sad we may feel, Christ knows who we are, and through Him all things are possible.