Gratitude

Yesterday I was mopping my kitchen.
My girls were fixing Gideon and me 'treats' (read blocks).
My Oh Boy I've Got Joy tape (that I've been listening to since I was 3) was playing....
I listened to Lilly's little voice singing this song, and my soul was filled,

"Oh boy! I've got joy! I do! Do you? It starts in my heart and spreads to my head in a minute or two. And did you know it can grow on my toe or keep my knees so they don't freeze. I feel so neat from my head to my feet. When I've got joy! I've got joy! Oh boy!"

Perhaps it sounds funny. Or perhaps you have experienced something similar after a traumatic experience, but in the last 6 weeks, (and I have no better way to describe it) I have remembered myself.

I sat in my kitchen painting butcher paper to make our fall leaf decorations a week ago, the girls were asleep, Cori was in the living room, and suddenly with that paint brush in my hand I remembered that I paint. I love to paint.

I had forgotten.

Tomorrow is 3 years, which I had totally not realized until Cori said something about it yesterday. I remember how much that day hurt. I can see from here just how broken we were.

I forgot that I was silly. I forgot that dumb jokes are my favorite. I forgot I like to dance to children's music. I forgot I love to cook with my husband. I forgot I love a good long conversation. I forgot myself.

But in the last few weeks I remember... and I can do all the laundry and clean my house and visit with friends and help other people and play with my kids and plan for the future with my husband. And it's not hard. It's lovely.

Mopping my floor yesterday, in my beautiful house, I felt as if I was surrounded by all the treasures of the earth. I could see the miraculous gifts that have been poured out upon myself and my family. They are large and small, and come in all forms. People, things, relationships, experiences and healing. And I know they are all generous gifts from my Father in Heaven.

The windows of Heaven have truly been opened and a multitude of blessings poured out upon our heads.

And I am grateful.