Six

Tomorrow my first baby is 6 (I typed 5 and 4 before I got it right... tells you how prepared I am for this). She lost her first top tooth yesterday.
She goes to school full days 5 days a week.
She rides a two wheeler... (she's done that for a while now.)
She can read and write.
She is funny.
She is nervous and shy sometimes.
She is a fast runner.
She is an artist.

Tonight while Gideon slept on my lap by the Christmas tree, we talked about the confused feelings mom's have. I told her how excited I am she is going to be six tomorrow, but how sometimes I wish she was 3 or 2 or 1 or brand new... (I never wish she was 4... ever ever...) I told her how I want to have a great time with her while she is six, but how sometimes I imagine what she will be like when she is 8 or 15 or 20 or a mom... and how we will be great friends when she is a grown up and how excited I am for that time. Such funny mixed up feelings. 

Havah, someday when you are older and you read this, know how grateful Dad and I are that you are ours. Know how awesome you are. Know how everyday you have been ours we have marveled at your mind and your spirit and your body as you grow and grow. Know how we love you. Know how you've changed us and streched us (me quite litterally, haha). You came to us so good. Know that you are a daughter of God who makes our love look entirely inconsequential, and that He sent you to parents that want nothing more that you fill your heart and your head with the joy of doing good, serving others and doing what is right no matter what. 

We love you Havah J. So dearly there are not words. Happy Birthday.